Dare to believe is my theme for 2022. I have lived in fear, doubt, and uncertainty all my life. I mean it! I have been fearful all my life. I have an ex who was very disappointed in me, and because we are still friends, he said that the biggest obstacle with me is I don’t want to struggle. If it gets hard, I simply leave. And boy, ain’t this the truth? Until he said it to me, I never thought about it that way.

As a child, I think making such decisions was excusable. I come from a small family with lots of love, so I knew that I had them to back me up whatever the case. Whether in school, relationships, sports, music, or anything else that required me to participate, I always gave the bare minimum. My mum reminds me now and then how “above-average” of a person I am. So let me give perspective; my mother is one whose glass is always half empty, so for her to say a statement like this means I can be exceptional in some things, but I do not allow myself to be because I am fearful and crippled with self-doubt.

This is the point I know that I have to be in therapy soon because I need to know where it all started and why I am so fearful. Other than that, I have analysis paralysis, but I have begun addressing it. I have wanted to quit my consultancy that has just started to pick up because it was difficult; I almost dropped out of grad school sometime this year (and I dare say, it is a full scholarship), I have thought about quitting my job various times, and I am the one always leaving relationships. Do you see why I need therapy?

So today, I dare believe in myself. In this next season, I will complete everything I start, I will be fully present in all my participations, no more bare minimum, but excellence will be the one word that describes me. It will be the best season yet, the most fulfilling phase, and I get not to quit but try again.

Love and light!